Boy, it’s been a long time! I don’t even want to check how long, the number wouldn’t matter really, it’s the feeling.
And it feels like forever since I developed a roll of film. It also feels good to be doing it again after all this time. As much as “this time” seems long, it was also necessary and important for my photography journey.
I love video games. I don’t write about them here obviously but I’d say I love playing as much as taking pictures. Usually they compete for those bits of free time I get, and there’s no way I could do both at the same time. Unless I start taking photos in games, which is a thing of beauty on its own if you know how to do it properly, and I don’t. Moreover, my photography is mostly film and one would argue there’s no way you can both shoot film and play games.
I waste a lot of time doing things I shouldn’t be doing at the moment or at all. It may not be true for everyone but it is for me.
With so many things happening in life it’s almost a crime to waste time. Yet I find myself doing exactly that more often than I’d like.
Sometimes I sit down with the intention to write a post or publish a picture and an hour later I’ve not even started. Sure there is a reason for that but nevertheless I can’t forgive myself for such bad time management.
I’ve looked at the date of my previous post and it was more than two weeks ago. I don’t have any regular schedule, true. And maybe I shouldn’t beat myself up for this but as much as I want to be consistent with posting I don’t find a lot of time for thinking it through and then actually writing.
And I don’t blame my life, work and family, no. I blame myself for wasting too much time on small things that look harmless for productivity but turn out to be huge sinkholes.
It affected my photography too. I’ve previously praised film for bringing so much joy when I develop and then scan it and it’s all true. But because of “the lack of time” I don’t get to processing film lately. Newly developed pictures used to be a great motivation to post frequently but not having developed a roll for a month or maybe even more I’ve got nothing to write home about. Except for occasional digital stuff which seems easier to process and share.
Being an optimist as I am, I still hope this is just a phase. We all have these moments after all. The struggle is hard but acknowledging the problem is a step into the right direction.
Sometimes good things come from an unexpected side. A couple of weeks ago the company I’m working for had an event for the kibbutz it’s based in, and I was asked to take some pictures despite the fact they had invited a photographer.
I’m not a professional in the sense that I don’t do gigs but this case was different so I agreed.
To be honest, it wasn’t the first time I was asked to do something like that. I made a short video of the Purim carnival several months ago, but no photos. This time it was right up my alley.